It’s time for our annual Christmas Gift Guide. We realize we’re running late this year, but if you’re looking for some last-minute gift ideas, here are some suggestions.
Leading off is Boris Johnson’s “Brexit Train Set,” which comes with a gray-suited European Union bureaucrat action figure. Or should that be ‘inaction’ figure? Oops! We’ve discovered this item is backordered. It has been for a while. A majority of British bought into Brexit a long time ago and have been waiting for it to arrive, but the train never seems to get moving. Perhaps it will now.
For those who like holiday laughter, we offer an Eric Swalwell ‘whoopie cushion.’ The young congressman from California let out a bunch of air ‘on air’ and later claimed it wasn’t him. Sure, Eric. Watch your prank targets make similar excuses. If gas bags aren’t your bag, there’s always the old standard—Nancy Pelosi’s wind-up chattering teeth. This toy will provide hours of amusement and it’s on sale!
Let’s not forget the pooch in your family. The Greta dog toy comes with a pony tail made of organically grown hemp. The rest of this chew toy is not only made with recycled material, but also the green mint flavor helps improve the carbon dioxide smell issuing from your canine. Do your dog and the planet a favor and buy it.
Another classic gift is our Magic 8H-Ball. Ask it a question and Hillary will float up with her answer. Will she run in 2020? Buy it and find out!
Lastly and leastly, there’s the old standby—a Christmas fruitcake. This one comes with extra nuts. It’s also extra stale and crumbly. What a perfect gift for your Democrat friends who favor impeachment of a lawfully-elected president who has done nothing wrong!