Welcome to the Democratic Party’s 2026 Maine Senate nightmare.
Tina Toon
Cartoon published 06/09/2026
Graham Platner — Marine veteran, oyster farmer, and populist firebrand — is cruising to victory in tomorrow’s Democratic primary.
He’s the heavy favorite to become the party’s nominee against Susan Collins. The problem? That old chest tattoo that looks suspiciously like an SS Totenkopf skull. He says he got it young, drunk in the Marines, didn’t know what it meant, and only recently covered it up. His ex-girlfriend tells a different story. Add in crude old Reddit posts and fresh allegations of threatening behavior toward women, and the national Democrats are sweating harder than Hunter Biden trying to locate his cocaine in the White House.
Who’s Standing by Their Man? Vote Blue No Matter Who!
Maine Democrats and the progressive base: They’re all-in. Local lawmakers, grassroots groups, and voters are shrugging it off with “he’s one of us,” “redemption story,” and “we’ve got your back!” Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Ro Khanna, and other progressives are still riding with him. The rallies are energetic, and many see him as the fighter who can finally take down Collins.
Who’s Nervous or Wants Him Gone? What happened to believe all Women?
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The D.C. Establishment: They’re in full “hold your nose” panic. This was supposed to be a prime pickup opportunity in a state Biden/Harris won. Now they’re watching their best shot against Collins get tainted by scandal after scandal right before the primary. Some are furious behind the scenes, a few columnists are calling for him to drop out, but publicly? Crickets or weak “he’s our guy… I guess.” Chuck Schumer and the big money boys are stuck with him.
Bottom line: Most Democrat voters will pull the lever for whoever has the “D” next to their name — “blue no matter who,” even if it means voting for a guy with a questionable tattoo permanently branded on the party’s rear end.
The donkey knows it’s stuck. It can call all the tattoo removal services it wants… but tomorrow Maine voters will decide if that ink is coming off — or if the whole party has to wear it straight through November.
It’s just the consequences of the “Vote Blue No Matter Who” chickens coming home to roost!
—The GrrrTeam
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