Everything is Faster With ICE!
Cartoon published 03/23/2026
It’s time to slash those soul-crushing TSA wait times.
Picture this—your average traveler is now skating across a floor of shiny “ICE” like an Olympic rink—zipping straight to the gate while shouting out the new national travel slogan: “Everything is faster with ICE!” No more standing in a human sardine can for hours—just glide, scan, and board.
With the help of ICE, Trump will be turning airport hell into a speedway, and the left is melting down faster than ice in July.
Why the emergency ICE deployment? Because Democrats are still playing shutdown chicken with DHS funding. They’re refusing to pay TSA workers and leaving the entire system frozen solid. While they clutch pearls about “humanity” and block every dollar for border security, real Americans are missing flights and cursing in concourse C.
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Of course ICE agents at the airport is triggering Democrats harder than an US flag waving in the wind. Democrat Minority leader Hakeem Jeffries, said on CNN, “The last thing that the American people need are for untrained ICE agents to be deployed at airports all across the country, potentially to brutalize or in some instances kill them,”
Because ICE is the Gestapo, right “Dollar Store Obama?”
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Meanwhile at JFK airport people are thanking ICA agents for their service and taking selfies with them, not quite what Hakeem expected.
Trump’s fix? Send in the pros—ICE will be checking IDs everywhere and turning the old single security line into two very clear lanes: One super-fast track straight to your airline gate, and the other…well, let’s just call it the “deportation express” for anyone who happens to be in this country illegally.
And if ICE isn’t enough? President Trump doubles down with the National Guard.
“If that’s not enough, I will bring the National Guard! We’re NOT gonna have the Democrats destroy our country!”
Suddenly, the line will move quicker for everyone who actually belongs here. Democrats will scream about “cruelty” while conveniently forgetting that THEY are the ones who let the barn burn by starving DHS. Too bad—and now the skating rink is open with the fast lane is humming. ICE just made flying great again.
— The GrrrTeam
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